Let There Be Light

If I'm not mistaken that is one of the first lines in the Bible, if not the first. It also happens to be what I expect when I enter a bathroom. You see when I'm being the "God" to my bathroom and I feel its time to smite the toilet bowl with a natural disaster, i.e. torrential downpour or mudslide (haha sorry about the shitty imagery *you can groan for that pun for it was intended*), I expect that when I flick the switch (let there be light) then there will be light. I don't believe anywhere in the Bible does it say "Let there be fan". Now don't get me wrong, the fan is a superb addition to any bathroom as I make great use of mine, however it is annoying how every time I go to flick the switch I inevitably hit the fan first rather than the light. After having to follow some people I do admit I don't mind making that mix up.

So to all those electricians and pseudo-electricians I want you to separate these to switches so that when I'm feeling the wall in the dark I will always turn on the light. None of this putting them together on the same light pad cuz there have been too many times where I've noticed the fan is actually the closest one to the door. How does that make any sense? I especially hate the fan/light combo switch, as it is an annoyance when I'm trying to catch up on some reading (I like me quiet time). Or if I'm making a late night stop and wish to maintain my half dream state, the loud whirring always brings me to full awake mode.

And what's with the bathrooms with the hidden light switches? You know the ones I'm taking about. Where you have to resort to two hands feeling up and down the wall like some panicked mime. God forbid you make the mistake of closing the door and locking it first before finding the switch. Sometimes the never appears and you must attempt to go ahead blind. In these cases I suggest sitting down no matter what your initial intentions were.

Obviously, people share in this hatred of the fan getting top billing on the light pad two quite ingenious solutions have been implemented. 1) Make the light switch glow for your easy flicking needs and 2) I lived in a house where the fan station was actually split into 4 or 5 buttons each designed to run the fan for a certain length of time (usually in 5 or 10 minute increments) . I must say this, heaven on earth my friends, heaven.. on.. earth.

So kudos to those who are fighting the good fight against the evil fan switch, one day no man will ever mistakenly turn on the fan before the light. That day will one day be referred to as "The day of world peace". I'm making the assumption that world peace and this only light/fan thing will coincidently come to a head on the same day.