The Seal

This rant was inspired by a buddy of mine, lets call him.."Goobs". Now this fellow is particulary susceptible to the whole 'breaking the seal' followed by frequent trips to the pisser aspect of drinking. Like I mean he literally drinks half his glass then goes to the can for at least 5 minutes. Where all this extra piss comes from I don't know. I'm leaning to the idea that his pressure is no more powerful than a leaky faucet. Anyways, I have proposed a theory to fixing the breaking of the seal. I shall use fat people as a way to better explain my theory.

Why do fat people get fat? Big bonededness? Perhaps thats true for a small number of cases. Slow metabolism? Makes sense. Eating non-stop? I think we've hit a major part of the problem. But how does this relate to peeing frequently? I'm not sure exactly but lets see where this goes. Ok, so the more they eat, the more their stomachs must hold. Therefore, their stomach's expand to accomodate the excess food. Hence, we get fat people who use stomach stapling as a means to lose weight. Now we're getting somewhere.

So all Goobs needs to do is make his bladder expand. Now obviously he has the excessive drinking going on so no more can be done in that manner to expand the bladder. What he and other people in the same boat need to do is give the bladder the time to expand. This means not going the second you feel the need. Sure this may be uncomfortable at first but give it time. You be the master of the house, not your bladder. Not only will you expand your bladder, but in this process, you will experience some of the most enjoyable pisses in your life. Anyone who has managed to hold it in way past their believed breaking point understands the euphoria one experiences after you can actually relieve yourself. Over time the bladder will grow, in theory, so that your trips to the can no longer, ironically, break the flow of conversation. There is irony there if you look for it.

Until next time, keep on drinking!