Nurples

So I was reading the dictionary the other day, and by reading I mean looking up a word. During my search I came up with the idea to see if nurple is actually in the dictionary. The idea probably stemmed from the fact that I was a victim of a greeting nurpling earlier in the day. Every guy has that friend who instead of a high five, handshake, fist pound, nod and 'what's up' to say hello, prefer to go for the surprise nurple. Not every time mind you, they switch it up just keep you off guard. And since they do it to most of their friends, they have honed their craft and developed an accuracy and speed which leaves little room for the target to elude the oncoming pinchers of pain. My nipples are also surprisingly tiny so kudos to that fellow. Why I congratulate him you ask?

* side note: you're only asking if you're a woman, guys understand this point*
Although painful, you must recognize the skill involved. I guess in a way it is a lot like a good burn. Although embarrassed, you recognize the hilarity (if you aren't some elitist snob of a person that is a.k.a. mature) if the burn were directed at someone else.

So anyways, I was looking up nurple and to my surprise it was not recognized as a word by Mr. Webster. I say surprising since you would think the people who write dictionaries (or update them for that matter) have had their fair share of nurples during their youth. Sure I'm being stereotypical here but I'm willing to bet they still get the occasional one these days. Its also surprising since the word has been a part of our vocabulary since elementary school. Meanwhile bling made it in after only a few years of circulation.

As one last comment, nurples have also been commonly referred to as purple nurples. I assume this is because the two words rhyme and we all know how kids like things that rhyme ( makes it easier to chant). However, 'nurple' is already derived from 'purple' and 'nipple'. So by saying purple nurple you are actually being somewhat redundant. Annoyingly redundant (after a good 15 years of hindsight). Or as a good friend of mine would say repetitively redundant. Its like when you are asked to give your SSN number for some forms. "So you want my social security number number?" The only time I will let the phrase purple nurple go is if the nurple becomes so common place that nurpling simply refers to the act of the nipple twist, while a purple nurple actually results in a bruise. But we can hardly get into these semantics now since a nurple isn't even an official thing or act yet as it has no formal definition. Until then I beg of you all to restrict yourselves to say only 'nurple' or 'purple nipple'. I give these options since I know nobody will say "I'm going to purple nipple you!" as it just sounds wrong.

Hopefully I have written nurple enough in order to speed up the process of getting accepted into Webster's fine piece of bookery. Just thought I'd lay the ground work for 'bookery' crusade.

Until next time, keep on nurpling!