Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Snails

I know what your thinking, "What could Rombus have against the ever wonderful creature - The Snail?" The answer is absolutely nothing. However, this is not where the rant ends. After it rains, and there has been plenty of that lately there is quite the abundance of snails around my front door. Now to me this is a more visually appealling site than the ton of worms one usually has to tiptoe around. The thing that saddens me is that there are usually a couple that have been crushed by unknowing students in a rush to go wherever they must be. Admittedly, I probably have been the cuplrit on more than one occasion. Why does it sadden me? Well, unlike the worm, the snail actually tries to protect itself, however futile it may be, by having a shell. What a sad existence. Having to lug around that shell that doesn't do much in the way of protection.
To put this into perspective, it would be like one of us walking around in a 150 lb suit of armor. Here we'd be thinking' "What a bitch this fucking suit is to carry around all the time, but at least I'm safe". Then a Mack truck slams down onto you. And even if your lucky enough to avoid this Mack truck that fell from the sky, there are going to be numerous other Mack trucks dropping all around you for the rest of the day. For those who don't get metaphors, the Mack trucks are analgous to our feet. Mother Nature can be a cruel, cruel mistress. So next time you come over please watch your step. Save a snail!

Geez when did I become such a bleeding heart for slugs with helmets? Sometimes I just get too into these things.

On another note I'd like to welcome back the sun from its 2 week vacation. Cheerio!

Friday, May 19, 2006

Don't you hate pants?

Ok I don't mean in a general sense here. Personally, I think pants are a great idea; however, there happens to be one thing in particular that I just don't understand. I recently bought two new pairs of jeans. Upon getting home I then had to undergo the 10 minute ritual of detagging the suckers. Is it truly necessary to have tags coming off every pocket, hanging off a couple belt loops and some cardboard tag packaged over the waist. Then once that is over there are still the transparent stickers that run up the pant legs. Who hasn't had somebody ask, " Hey are those new pants?". You, then thinking that its leading to complement, reply " Why yes, yes they are." The other person nonchalantly proceeds to tell you "I thought so, since you have that sticker still on your pants".
I'm just led to believe that there are idiots out there who when looking at pants need to be reminded of the size, cut and brand from every angle they could possibly be looking from. I can just picture that person who after picking out the pants, trying them on, liking them and then noticing some tag on the back left pocket. " Oh this is actually a bootcut jean not a straightcut (Hell, if I know what the actual difference is there), silly me. I should report that they need better labeling as to save me time. Like a tag on every pocket and maybe a sensor that tells you as you put your leg in what the specifications are ". Scoff now but its headed in that direction people.

Other things. I like to mess with peoples heads. Like you know when people are joking around, winking, air quoting in order to imply things, someone may say "Yeah, so that chick she came back to my place and we 'had a good time' *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*" and the rest of the idiots are left to cheer and slap him in on the back or whatever. These are the situations where I get a kick out of confusing people. All you have to do is air quote what everyone else is implying. " Yeah, so I left with that girl last night and had "sex" *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* ". The usual response is "Yeah, Aweso... Huh? wait... what?" Cuz what the hell does "sex" imply.

Stayed tuned for some comments on the days of summer.