Favourite Chuck Norris joke

One day Chuck Norris's girlfriend asks him, ' How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood'? Chuck Norris then screams, 'HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!!!!' He then proceeds to rip out her throat. While holding his girlfriend's bloody throat he bellows, 'Don't fuck with Chuck!' Two years and five months later he realizes the irony of his statement and lets out a mighty laugh. Everyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Random Thoughts

Alright folks. Its been awhile since the last post, but I've been busy.
I'll just throw out a few things until I can come up with a decent full sized rant.

If you get into a fight and the other guy starts to do karate poses then I'd say you have about a 70% chance of winning the fight. I'll say 30% of fighters may have picked up some karate to warrent using the poses.
Now if they start doing a lot of 'HIYAs' and other similar screams then I'd say you're chances of winning get bumped up to 98%. I have to leave some room for the nutballs.

Words to the wise: When piggy-backing a pretty lady, don't try to be a hero. Don't try to take on all obstacles. If need be take a longer route ( she'll be on you longer) or put her down if necessary. Trust me, you don't need to a giant black and blue reminder from the fall ( even it means she gets your pants off later in the night).

Hair has the uncanny ability of going from nice to look at to the grossest thing on the planet. All that needs to happen is for it to come out of one's head. Who hasn't been able to brush off a long, stringy hair on the first couple tries only to go into a state of overpanic (simultaniously making a face like you just ate a rotten egg). Oh and ladies, whats with the wigs worth of hair on the shower wall? Thats disgusting! Sometimes it looks as if you've even tried to make a picture with it.

thats it for now peeps.

Insomniac

So it seems I've forgotten how to sleep. The longest consective period I've slept in recent days is 3 hours. You would think shovelling 4 inches of heavy, slushy snow for an hour might do the trick, but it didn't. Superbowl managed to help as I managed a nap from the end of the 2nd quarter to midway through the 3rd.
At first, my boredom level was off the charts. I mean I've read all my internet sites and they won't get updated till morning. Your lucky if even a quasi-decent show comes on tv. And you can only play video games for so long. But then I decided to take advantage of my newfound free time. Following is a list of things one can do to fill a night/days worth of not sleeping.

1. Do all assignments due for the upcoming week.
2. Give your room a much needed cleaning.
3. Change the cds in your player. If not already done you can also create an organization system for your cds. If that doesn't interest you, you could make up some extremely complicated system to tell people when they complain about your disorganization
4. Make a chain made from Starburst wrappers that you find laying around your room. It helps if you've recently purchased starburst.
5. Look through your dvd collection to determine who your favourite actor and actress is. You may be surprised by the result. For me its a tie between Russell Crowe, Billy Crystal, Tim Curry and Mandy Patinkin for actors and Jennifer Connelly for the actress. Mind you I wouldn't necessarily have said these if asked.
6. Pay your bills. This helps if you have the money.
7. Update your blog.

After writing this I've now realized that it may have been smarter to draw these activities out if the insomnia is to last longer. Crap! What the hell will I do now? Maybe I'll try and sleep again.

Crispers

Remember them? Once and for all, they are crackers, NOT chips. Thank you.