Rules not just for the road

This one observation, if you will, was sparked the other day while coming back from lunch. Walking back to the office I couldn't help but notice the pathetic display of human traversing that was being presented to me. This woman who was 5'shit" tall couldn't seem to do anything right.

In busy hallways, often found in malls and grocery stores, etc. you will notice 2 main streams of people moving in opposite directions. And not unlike driving, the streams are such where people pass on the right (left shoulder to left shoulder). Now maybe this girl was from England I don't know, but she just couldn't find the stream which was much easier to walk with and instead opted to weave and plow through conversations. To this I chuckled, for you could see how frustrated and angry she was getting.

So while walking this hallway two lefts had to be made. Again like driving, I suggest if you're the one going left make it a wide left turn (the streams usually force the wide left, but even alone in school halls the solo tight left often results in what we'll call the "mirrored stranger jig". We've all done it people! Needless to say the girl found herself performing this social dance upon both turns.

Side note - The mirrored stranger jig can be used as a nice ice breaker at a bar or club if executed correctly. Very important to not cross the line into creepy. 2 sways, pause (hopefully get a smile/laugh/eyefuck) then you can direct the girl by (hence contact) . You may go for another sway but the pause will tell you if you can push it. Then meet up with fellow jigger later with a drink.

Back to our little bumper car. She eventually managed to find the right stream. However, she was a speedy little devil and quickly came across a couple of slow walkers (who are a rant for another day) . Finally she did something right and slowed down and waited til it was clear to pass them. I really expected her to plow through the middle considering it was no problem when she was going at people head on. I don't care if you pass on the right or left as long as the coast is clear. However, during the pass, SPEED UP! There's nothing more annoying then someone passing at or minutely faster then the speed of the supposed "slow ones". Speeding up and getting back into stream allows other to pass as well.

Side note - Funny how the slow people causing all the trouble tend to be old or on a cell phone, just like on the road.

Just figured I'd instruct those people or person who reads this how to make the crazy Christmas shopping just a bit easier and safer. Driving doesn't stop when you park your car.