Short fad

Remeber that little fad a few years ago which was all about giving the finger creatively. Sure it started with say scratching your cheek or your nose, but quickly escalated into more theatrical moves. Now I'm glad this fad only lasted as long as it did or at least regressed back to scratch finger. I'm glad because when I'd get into a battle, after 2 goes I'd be out of material and then I'd be getting fingered all over the place. Hmmm... thats sounds more horrible than just the embarrassment of losing a middle finger battle. I basically only knew the "Inflator" which was blowing on your thumb and raising your finger, the "Crank" - turning an imaginary crank whilst raising your finger and the "Gundown"- using your other hand a gun and shooting down your fingers leaving the middle up. These 3 were staples of any battle and were bound to be the first ones done. Why didn't I pick up others' moves as they were done to me you ask? Shame maybe, disinterest likely .... umm I'll go with lack of wanting to use someone elses material. Thats right my search of a truly original move was cut short since I think the weekend came and everyone had moved on to something else on monday. I believe it was the making someone look at your finger and thumb making a ring shape and then punching them game. Good times!

Contemplation

I ike how a good fart has the power to make me take notice and think.

Quebecers

Maybe Quebec wouldn't hate the rest of Canada so much if we let them join one of our contests every now and again. I know if it were me, I'd become bitter too if every time I read a contest's eligibility that everyone could enter except for me.

Loose Tooth dream

It has come to my attention that not everybody has had the bad dream that I feel had ranked right up there in frequency with the falling and being chased dreams. Of course I am speaking of the nerve wrenching dreams where your teeth feel ridiculously loose, if not eventually fall out. Honestly these are the dreams that give me the most scare. I actually enjoy the adrenaline rush that comes from the falling/chased dreams. Actually I've had a dream where I've leapt off a cliff to avoid a pursuer only to fall for a few minutes, crash, and bounce back up and continue running knowing that my pursuer wouldn't be stupid enough to jump the way I did. I also awoke feeling great knowing I busted the stupid myth of if you actually land in a falling dream you will die.

Anyways, after discussing this dream with a few people my sister noticed a pattern of this dream occuring more frequently with people who've had braces. Even at the dinner table only my mom and I were the ones who've experienced this unfortunate experience. The reasoning of course is that so much money and energy has been put into making a better smile that fucking having them fall out would be a horrible circumstance. But I'll put this out to you my readers to help prove this theory about the loose tooth dream. I know I hate it and I don't really see how anyone could actually like it. So come forth and let me know I am not alone.

P.S. If you've had the dream please state whether or not you've had braces. It would be quite helpful.

Revolving Doors

This one may be considered one of my more petty peeves, but nonetheless I feel I need to get this off my chest. All things considered I really enjoy the revolving door was a means of building entry/exit. (whoa way to rock the boat eh. Whats next, I profess my fondness for sunshine and boobs?) I just thought I'd start with a complement.

So what is it that bothers me about the revolving door? I find it happens to me more often than not. You know when you approach the door and one of its partitions is positioned just so that you must make a choice. 1) Try and squeeze in the near side and continue on your way (this could end real bad if you either misjudge the available space or misjudge your fatness) or b) take the far side, thus taking away any momentum you had with your nonchalant strides and stand there paused for a second while you muscle the door around. It is quite the conundrum. You could slow down I guess and hope a promising entrant does the work from the other side. But if you're actually considering this then I think you have some deeper issues to deal with. Of course its nothing some sunshine and boobs couldn't fix. At least Vegas helps you out with the giant doors as they revolve for you. Never had I experienced so much care-free revolving in my life.

But as I said I do enjoy the revolving door. I think because it reminds me of Today's Special. I don't know why, they just always have.

Luggage or Backpack?

I guess I've been in a good mood this past month, hence the lack of postings. I guess I couldn't have posted a rant about not having anything to rant about, but that just seemed pathetic and I decided to leave well enough alone. That may be the first time I've ever used that cliche and I hope I worded that correctly.

Ok now here is my beef. After walking around campus I've begun to notice a lot of people, mostly petite girls, who seem to choose to not use a (traditional) backpack or large tote and instead opt for a what looks like a backpack with wheels and a retractable handle. They then proceed to wheel it behind them as if they're headed for a flight as opposed to class. Honestly, what could one possibly be bringing to school on a daily basis that one can't carry their backpack on their back, as the name suggests, like a normal student. Multiple changes of clothes and a pup tent for a weeklong stake out in the library? Concrete blocks you've composed for some engineering project? Or maybe its your 7 course lunch that you decide to bring to class to fill the air with whatever nauseating fish dish you made the night before.

My best guess is that these are the people who bring every text book they have for the term to school each day, even if they don't have some classes, just on the off chance the prof refers to some example in the text. Ever heard of making a note to check said example later? Sure I may always forget to look at the example, but thats because I could care less.

In all actuality it isn't the studious nature of the luggage-student that bothers me, its the fact that my impatientness and chivalrous traits come into constant conflict whenever I'm around them, especially in the frigid days of winter. I will always hold the door if I see a girl coming up behind me. But now I'm left to stand in the cold for an extra minute as the person fumbles with their pack trying to get the wheels to turn in the snow and getting the pack through without the door closing. Sometimes I've arrived at an entryway only to find someone struggling to get through and causing a logjam of people. If you're weak enough that you can't carry your damn backpack then I say your eligible to use the handicapped button. Being as studious as you are I would've thought that you'd figure it out but I guess not. So either embrace your handicappedness or plan for each day like the rest of the normies and bring to school only what is needed.

Handicapped parking

Ok so over the Christmas break I, like many others, made my trip out to the mall. Since I don't really know the secrets to the activity I often found myself parking as far from the mall as humanly possible due to the crowded parking lot. On one such occasion, I'm still about a 5 min walk from the front doors and what do I see but a handicapped sign in the front windshield of a car. C'mon do these people not have enough spots close to the store that they need to be taking able-bodied people's spaces. I say if all the handicapped spaces are taken then they are either a) shit of luck and can shop another day or b) park in a normal space and take down your little sign. If you're trying to get sympathy from me well it ain't coming.

On a side note, if one has a wheelchair I think those people should have special spaces far from the store. I mean if I had a little motorized cart I wouldn't be adverse to diddling through a parking lot in my power wheel. Personally, I'd feel like an ass getting a close spot then still basically driving to the front doors. Actually, I wouldn't. I'd probably be thinking "Suckers!" But I'm sure some people would feel bad.